The history of the chinese

I have discovered today a number of things about the chinese, when i say discovered I mean completely made up but make rational sense.
Firstly the chinese used to live thousands of years ago on the moon, and they used to eat lots of moon cheese (you no the stuff the moon is made from) and this is why they are slightly yellow in there complexion. Now due to the fact the moon is close to the sun (well closer to the moon) they had to squint a lot, hence there funny eyes.
They were happy till one day they discovered a big meteor was heading straight towards them (they discovered this with all there technological advances) so they panic'd a lot, this could explain there fast speaking abilities. However one day a lot of cool and pretty looking dragons came and saved them and brought them to earth and saved them. This is why they love dragons and go one little parades with them and shit.
This to me has answered a lot of questions about the chinese but incase you think i'm being to offensive i will end this blog with song lyrics by Monty Python:

The world today seems absolutely crackers,
With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high.
There's fools and idiots sitting on the trigger.
It's depressing and it's senseless, and that's why...
I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They only come up to your knees,
Yet they're always friendly, and they're ready to please.

I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
There's nine hundred million of them in the world today.
You'd better learn to like them; that's what I say.

I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They come from a long way overseas,
But they're cute and they're cuddly, and they're ready to please.

I like Chinese food.
The waiters never are rude.
Think of the many things they've done to impress.
There's Maoism, Taoism, I Ching, and Chess.

So I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
I like their tiny little trees,
Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin, and yang-ese.

I like Chinese thought,
The wisdom that Confucious taught.
If Darwin is anything to shout about,
The Chinese will survive us all without any doubt.

So, I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They only come up to your knees,
Yet they're wise and they're witty, and they're ready to please.

All together.

[verse in Chinese]
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Wo ai zhongguo ren. (I like Chinese.)
Ni hao ma; ni hao ma; ni hao ma; zaijien! (How are you; how are you; how are you; goodbye!)

I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
Their food is guaranteed to please,
A fourteen, a seven, a nine, and lychees.

I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
I like their tiny little trees,
Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin, and yang-ese.

I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They only come up to your knees... 


Thank you.